Ten Things NOT To Do in a Motorhome

13 August 2024

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What Not To Do in Motorhome

Living in a motorhome is both the greatest thing ever and the worst thing ever…usually dependent on the weather and how much wine you’ve drunk the night before!

For us, it is overwhelmingly the greatest thing ever, because we follow our list of ten things NOT to do in a motorhome…

  • Don’t ever get food poisining or any type of gastric issue that involves actual vomiting, your home will never smell the same again…
  • Don’t drive along a motorway with any of your roof lights open, they will break and fly off, possibly causing a pile up of other vehicles for which you will be responsible.
  • Don’t pack any item of clothing which may be considered fashionable or smart…by the time you have finished wearing it, it will be neither and people will laugh at you for being inappropriately dressed.
  • Do not lie to yourself and pretend this is a ‘way of life’; it is not, we all know it’s a very long holiday.
  • Don’t think you will suddenly turn into a cool van life dude; you won’t because you chose to have a motorhome and they are not cool, so by definition you are not cool and never will be.
  • Don’t wait for the red toilet light to come on; you will get pee and maybe liquid poo on your feet when you empty it, no matter how careful you are.
  • Don’t forget the gin. If you do here’s a post about how to make gin at home,  or in your case in your motorhome!
  • Avoid parking under trees where there is a lot of bird poo on the ground; this suggests there will be a lot of bird poo on your van and makes you pretty stupid.
  • Don’t park so close to your neighbours that you can hear them pee; it’s antisocial and you’ll never make any friends on the road.
  • Don’t pack the milk in a precarious position in the fridge so that when you stop for a cup of tea and open said fridge, the milk falls out, the bottle explodes and you smell like baby sick for a week.

Let us know your ten things not to do in a motorhome, it might help us to avoid future pitfalls…..

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2 thoughts on “Ten Things NOT To Do in a Motorhome”

  1. The Gap Decaders

    Hi Simon
    Thanks for commenting. Buying your first motorhome is such an exciting time, I used to spend hours dreaming about where we would go and what living in a motorhome would really be like. I’m happy to say van life has totally lived up to our expectations! Don’t hesitate to email us if you need any help or have questions you can’t find the answers to. Good luck with your search for the perfect motorhome 🙂

  2. Simon Sinclair

    I’m loving this site. I’ve just started the process of researching for a Motorhome. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and now ready to take the plunge. After being involved in professional sport I now find myself in the independent education sector and my wife and children are as well. We have so many opportunities for holidays that we feel this is our best option. So now We’ve made this decision I’ve got to start the planning process. What Motorhome is best, budget is set, layout, what is important for it to have inside, gadgets, where to go. The list goes on and on but it’s exciting.

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