Full-time motorhome life is both the greatest thing ever and the worst thing ever…usually dependent on the weather and how much wine you’ve drunk the night before! For us, it is overwhelmingly the greatest thing ever, because we follow our list of ten things NOT to do in a motorhome…
- Don’t ever get food poisining or any type of gastric issue that involves actual vomiting, your home will never smell the same again…
- Don’t drive along a motorway with any of your roof lights open, they will break and fly off, possibly causing a pile up of other vehicles for which you will be responsible.
- Don’t pack any item of clothing which may be considered fashionable or smart…by the time you have finished wearing it, it will be neither and people will laugh at you for being inappropriately dressed.
- Do not lie to yourself and pretend this is a ‘way of life’; it is not, we all know it’s a very long holiday.
- Don’t think you will suddenly turn into a cool van life dude; you won’t because you chose to have a motorhome and they are not cool, so by definition you are not cool and never will be.
- Don’t wait for the red toilet light to come on; you will get pee and maybe liquid poo on your feet when you empty it, no matter how careful you are.
- Do not ever walk around your pitch in your underpants; it’s disgusting and wrong.
- Avoid parking under trees where there is a lot of bird shit on the ground; this suggests there will be a lot of bird poo on your van and makes you pretty stupid.
- Don’t park so close to your neighbours that you can hear them pee; it’s antisocial and you’ll never make any friends on the road.
- Don’t pack the milk in a precarious position in the fridge so that when you stop for a cup of tea and open said fridge, the milk falls out, the bottle explodes and you smell like baby sick for a week.
Let us know your ten things not to do in a motorhome, it might help us to avoid future pitfalls…..